(N)o (F)ootball (L)eague 1 – SO WATCH ARENA FOOTBALL

Admittedly, this is something I've wanted to do more of, but as a compliment to my NFL-watching, as opposed to a substitute. It's the potato salad that comes with the smoked ribs. Smoked ribs are awesome, and are fine on their own, but a little bit of potato salad is always welcome. But would I ever imagine getting into my (now strictly hypothetical) car and driving somewhere to JUST get potato salad? Nope. And that's I've got for the next year. Friggin' potato salad.

I caught the end of the first week matchup of the Philadelphia potato salad hosting the Pittsburgh potato salad. I, as I usually do, completely forgot that potato salad would be on TV tonight. I'm just not quite adjusted to making myself excited for a big helping of potato salad.

The fans always seem to have a good time- the rule, supposedly, is whatever goes in to the crowd at a potato salad game, the fans keep. So they go through quite a few balls, I'd image, as the whole field is about as long as the line at 7-Eleven.

The best (worst) part about the potato salad game is that it aired on the NFL Network, and they promoted two things heavily during the broadcast:

1. Friday nights are alright for football, Arena football, and
   
   
2. THERE IS GOING TO BE A LOCKOUT OMG DON'T CHANGE THE CHANNEL THE GAME'S ALMOST OVER PLEASE STAY!!!

That second point scrolled across the bottom ticker the entire time I was watching (ten minutes). I felt like the NFL was rubbing it in my face to teach me a lesson, and I'm still not sure what I did wrong, but it must have been very, very bad. I wish I had photoshop skills, because I'd make a jpeg of me pooping on Al Davis' desk or something with the caption “BAD DATHAN.”

I'll watch an entire game next week (Chicago potato salad will be featured) and I'll have to take in a game early this season. You know, before the potato salad goes bad. If it isn't already.

Replacing the NFL: (N)o (F)ootball (L)eague

As of this evening, the NFL Player's Association has finally decertified. This move is not unexpected, as the owners have stood their ground and haven't budged on several critical issues, namely:

1. Moving to an 18 game regular season, to make more money of parking, concessions, tickets, and advertising while paying the players the same amount as a 16 game regular season.
   
   
2. Continuing to withhold their financial statements, while crying into their ill-fitting $5,000 suit and screaming “WE'RE BROOOOOOKE! IT'S NOT FAIR” like a three year old with poopie Pull-Ups in the freezer section of Aldi's.)
   
   
3. Saying that the players, especially the early first-round picks, make too much money, despite the fact that it's the owners fault they do (NFL agents are part of the problem too, but I still blame the guy who writes that extra zero on the check)

The NFL looks to be headed to a lockout, then to the Federal courts, where it will defend itself against an injunction from a team of Tom Brady and Peyton Manning amongst other players. According to ESPN, it will go down as “Brady et al v. National Football League et al.” You really can't make this stuff up, and if you could, you probably would be scared of your next drug test slightly less than the pink elephants playing Yahtzee in your closet.

As it appears now, my autumn is at risk of being ruined, and it's still TWO WHOLE SEASONS away. I haven't even sipped a green beer yet and I'm already mourning the loss of the football season and all the joy that accompanies it. You see, Sundays are religious for me. I attend the Church of the Kansas City Chiefs (it's Orthodox) every Sunday after the religious services I tell myself I should attend but religiously don't.

As a coping mechanism, I am going to do a series of articles about what I'm going to do instead of watching football on Sundays. They will be of varying length, severity, hilarity, and frequency, interspersed with whatever other words I put on the internet.

It's Dathan..

Without further adieu, here are some questions that the Internet asked me.

WHY ARE YOU PUTTING WORDS ON THE INTERNET!?! THERE ARE ALREADY WORDS ON THE INTERNET!!!

I want to share my writing and perspective. I hope people enjoy it. I'll be posting new work and older work that wasn't widely shared. I believe that my educational background (BA in journalism, minor in sociology, proclivity to go where people with pride don't) will produce some interesting writing.

LOL! WHO SHOULD READ THIS?!?1

People who like to read funny things that occasionally touch on the warmth of the human experience.

Also, people who like juvenile humor, video games, making fun of social constructs, and fantasy sports.

WHO ARE YOU!!?!?!?

Oh, yeah, um, hi. I'm Dathan. It's like Nathan but with a D.

Other than that (and in no particular order) I'm a positive person, Black, a semi-competitive Magic: The Gathering player, a fan of Kansas City sports (and Chicago sports for the areas where KC lacks a team) a world traveler, an enthusiastic learner, a city kid, a Kansan (who cherishes his Iowa roots too), a Cyclone, a former actor, aspiring poet, old-school video game historian, mixologist, and hungry.

A/S/L! PIX PLEASE!

No.