As of this evening, the NFL Player's Association has finally decertified. This move is not unexpected, as the owners have stood their ground and haven't budged on several critical issues, namely:
- Moving to an 18 game regular season, to make more money of parking, concessions, tickets, and advertising while paying the players the same amount as a 16 game regular season.
- Continuing to withhold their financial statements, while crying into their ill-fitting $5,000 suit and screaming “WE'RE BROOOOOOKE! IT'S NOT FAIR” like a three year old with poopie Pull-Ups in the freezer section of Aldi's.)
- Saying that the players, especially the early first-round picks, make too much money, despite the fact that it's the owners fault they do (NFL agents are part of the problem too, but I still blame the guy who writes that extra zero on the check)
The NFL looks to be headed to a lockout, then to the Federal courts, where it will defend itself against an injunction from a team of Tom Brady and Peyton Manning amongst other players. According to ESPN, it will go down as “Brady et al v. National Football League et al.” You really can't make this stuff up, and if you could, you probably would be scared of your next drug test slightly less than the pink elephants playing Yahtzee in your closet.
As it appears now, my autumn is at risk of being ruined, and it's still TWO WHOLE SEASONS away. I haven't even sipped a green beer yet and I'm already mourning the loss of the football season and all the joy that accompanies it. You see, Sundays are religious for me. I attend the Church of the Kansas City Chiefs (it's Orthodox) every Sunday after the religious services I tell myself I should attend but religiously don't.
As a coping mechanism, I am going to do a series of articles about what I'm going to do instead of watching football on Sundays. They will be of varying length, severity, hilarity, and frequency, interspersed with whatever other words I put on the internet.
No comments:
Post a Comment